After All....He Is Family

He only wears it when guest come over so he can be reminded to turn his manners on

Sigh...family can be exhausting sometimes. Lately I've been feeling a little overwhelmed by a certain family member. Phillip gets out of control sometimes and starts to tear things apart, an hour after I vacuum you can't even tell. He has ruined one of my favorite shoes and also dug a hole in the wall because the fan was plugged in and apparently bothering him. He wakes me in the night when the big ol fatty jumps up on our bed and them moans when I kick him off. He pees outside everywhere. He has an eating disorder...he wants to eat everything in sight and you've got to be quick or he'll grab food right out of your hand. He whines if he's not included in everything we do and he humps us on occasion. I've had to pull out a tooth of his that was stuck to the gums and was bleeding like he had been stabbed, it was disgusting. He smells like a dog. He sheds so much that he should be bald by now. He has no manners and sticks his nose in our crotch and butt every morning. I'm the one who wasn't that excited about bringing another member into our family and I'm the one that is with him most the time. I have accepted that he is part of our family and even with all of his annoying habits I do like him. I mean.......he is family after all. I have found that when I put a sweater on him then he is a gentleman. I'm not sure if he thinks he's trapped or being held but he doesn't move once it comes on. Maybe he knows he's dressed nice now so he should behave. Frankly, I don't really care what he thinks. I just know that I enjoy him more with the stupid sweater on. Yes...I put sweaters on my dog. You would to if you wanted your dog to be polite. Plus I think its kinda funny! 

I'm A Big Girl Now! 

Congratulations to myself! I'm now driving a Mom car! I've been putting if off for years now but knew the day would come. We need more room and my cute little Mazda was getting a little tight when we travel. You know your an adult when you buy a car because it has more room, fits 7 people and a dog, you don't look cool in it, you don't get to pick the color because you go off the price, you want good gas mileage and your happy that it was owned by an old lady prior to you. Although am I still an adult when I get in it and laugh because I'm driving such a big Mom car? Hmm maybe I'm just an in mature hooligan trying to pretend she is a grown up Mom. Are the other Moms at the school gonna be disappointed that I broke down and joined them or are they gonna think Shesh, finally she's growing up, its about time! I do love my Mazda and I am glad she is staying in our family. Hubby is driving her now although he thinks she's a chick car he's gonna man her up. I'm sure I will get used to this big step I'm taking into the adult Mom life. If you see me out and about don't think I'm driving to the fabric or craft store listening to FM 100, I'm rocking out to Pink heading to get coffee........on my way to my cub scout meeting. 

Tommy Lee

Oooohhh Lala! 

Yummy! 

I've had a secret crush on this guy since I was about 10 years old. I'm not sure what it is about him. His tattoos? His naughtiness? His long hair? That he is in a band? I still think he's hot and he still remains in my top 5 list of hot guys. I remember the first time I saw him perform with Motley Crue, I was fifteen years old and so in love with the drummer spinning around in a see through ball while he pounded on those drums. I was mesmerized by his hotness.  Apparently in Jr. high while making out with my now husband I told him I wished he was Tommy Lee, he never lets me forget this. Hehehe so funny! What a dumb, young girl. Although I'm not sure if I'd really hook up with him if I had the chance. I'm a mature Mom now and I don't really want any diseases but he does still cause me to get a tiny bit excited inside.  I'll admit his poster hangs in my laundry room (thanks to a dear friend) so I catch a glimpse of him often and it makes laundry a little bit more enjoyable. 

Remember these? 

I do. I remember making out with a certain guy and he couldn't figure out why he couldn't go up my shirt. I have to say that they are pretty stupid looking but its like a chastity belt for girls...so not a bad idea. Good luck getting in boys! 

Bad Mommy Moment

We've all had a few bad Mommy moments...hopefully you've had at least one. I've had several but If you ask my son he will tell you mine was the day I was teaching him how to get better at baseball. He had always been a decent player but was struggling this year with the pitching machine. It kind of freaked him out and as the season went on he was becoming worse. Being the great Mom that I am I decided to help him by taking him to the batting cages for a little afternoon practice. I must note that my husband thought this was a horrible idea and warned me that I had no idea what I was doing and shouldn't try to pretend that I did. Whatever! How hard can it be?? I handed my son a bat and helmet as we entered the cage and got the ball started. He was excited to give it a shot and practice hitting. He asked where do I stand? Well, I'm thinking you stand right on that arrow son. Here comes the barrelling ball straight to that arrow.....uh..oh..no! My son screams and turns so he gets pelted right in the back by the baseball. He falls to the ground crying. I'm yelling and crying asking him if he's okay. I'm in a panic and balls are flying around so I throw on a helmet and straddle over him and start hitting the balls....I was pretty good too. When my game was up I sobbingly asked my sobbing son if he was ready to give it another try. He declined. He finished his season and does not ever want to play again. He says he forgives me but says it was definitely my bad Mommy moment. I agree.

P.S. After watching all of this my other son has also given up baseball.  

Tinkle, Tinkle Little Lady

Worst thing about being sick...you cough or sneeze and have to brace yourself or you'll pee your pants. It's ridiculous. Wherever your at you must stop, cross your legs, be strong and brace yourself or you'll be changing your pants. 

Oh Crap!

I've got more crap stories than any human being should have but that's what happens when your broken for 11 years and no one can figure out what is wrong with you. I can laugh now since I am fixed. Here is one for your enjoyment. 

It was a beautiful afternoon and I went for a car ride with my hubby while he made a few stops for work. I waited in the truck while he was inside one of the business's he needed to visit and it hit me....... I'm gonna crap my pants! Horrible stomach pain, profusely sweating, shaking and can only think about getting to a bathroom right now. You've all been there at least once in your life. I've visited this moment many times in the past and I knew I had to act fast. I look around and I am surrounded by offices and I couldn't chance them not letting me use their restroom or not having one so I moved over to the driver seat and drove half a block down to the Maverick gas station. I knew my hubby would find me since he unfortunately was well aware of my volcanic butt erupting at any given time. I raced into the gas station bathroom, flung open the door while undoing my pants and notice that the toilet is clogged! Aaaahhhh! I stand there in my sweaty panic and look at my options...... I decide, it must be done. Yep, I did it. I feel horrible for adding to this mess but was so relieved that it was in a clogged toilet and not in my pants. As I open the door to leave I am shocked to see that there is a line of 4 people at the door to use the restroom. With a red face I panic and run past all of them as fast as possible, running out of the store, jumping in the truck (happy that my hubby is sitting there waiting) and shout "Go, Go, Go!!!" Luckily we made a clean getaway. 

P.S. I am so sorry to whoever was on bathroom duty that day.