Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Happy Anniversary Babe!

As our 19th anniversary approaches I was going to say how wonderful, amazing and blah, blah, blah that you are honey. Then I decided that's boring. So instead here is my list of the top 10 annoying things you do. 
1. You think all your opinions are facts. This is false. 
2. Your gagging and vomiting noises during my shows. I watch good quality television. 
3. The way you move the pillows dramatically off the bed every night. You act like your moving slabs of cement. When the bed is made those 13 pillows look beautiful.
4. Reaching over, pushing all the keys and messing up my texting. I'm conducting important business.
5. Eating whatever you want like a complete pig on the weekends while making me feel like if I do, then I too...will be skinny like you.
6. Waking me up in the night while your looking for tums singing the TTTTTTUMS song because you ate chips and salsa before bed.....again.
7. Kicking everyone's butt when it comes to any physical activity even when you haven't trained. It's ridick!
8. Starting a house project but never finishing it because well, there is skiing, biking, skipping and singing to the dog that needs to be done first.
9. Controlling my window in the car because you think I should be hot and I'm cold. I'm a mature adult and can be in charge of my own window.
10. Asking me if my period is coming ....when it is not.
Wha?? When did this happen??

Nobody told me when my boy turned 12 I was suppose to pull myself together. I'm suppose to do my hair...everyday. I'm not allowed to wear certain clothes or flip flops with socks (in the car). I can't talk to his friends too much. Apparently its embarrassing if I pick him up with a horse head mask on......Game on little man....game on 😜🐴 🙀💃
He obviously has know idea of what I am capable of!



You turn 12 and NOW I'm embarrassing?!? Where have you been your whole life?!?
This is just the last week....

It's not always easy but its the right thing to do...... 

This chick is a hot mess, she comes to the gym with her shirt on backwards, toothpaste running down her chest, sometimes smeared make up on, dirty hair with a big smile on her face.....if you make her do something she doesn't want to do...she will do it but will silently swear as she does it. She has been known to punch her own face while doing combat....that's how tough she is! She is sassy, a little smart alec but an absolute joy!! smile emoticon
She may pee her pants if we jump too much! Most the time she has no idea what she is doing and you may see her doing push ups when we're suppose to be doing squats. It's hard for her to get up sometimes and go but she knows its the right thing to do...she will receive reprimanding texts from gym loved ones if she misses which warms her heart. 



These 5 reasons are stupid. Here are 5 real reason why someone wouldn't want to bike with their significant other.
1. You kick my butt with ease while showing off and doing wheelies...while I'm slowly dying.....you think going lightning speed is natural.
2. You wait....and wait for me to catch up....then ask me 10 times if I'm okay....uh..yes, I'm good. Except that I just feel like punching you in the face.
3. Once I'm caught up....you then proceed to tell me how slow I am and that the mountain is gonna close because we are taking so long! Anyone and Everyone in the world that bikes is now done and has been for hours.
4. I then call you a rotten name!
5. Once we finish you ask if I want to go do it again real quick?!?

5 Reasons Why Your Significant Other Doesn’t Want to Mountain Bike with You. Singletracks Mountain Bike News.
SINGLETRACKS.COM

Band Geeks 
I remember in jr. high feeling bad for the nerdy music kids that had to carry around their big instruments....now I feel bad for their Moms that had to have them sitting in their living rooms. 
Too Fat 

Do you ever feel to fat to go to the gym? I know It sounds ridiculous but makes perfect sense to me. 

My Top 5 Annoying Observances At The Gym 

1. Farting-this should never be done in a hot room full of sweaty people breathing hard. Ugh.....last thing I want to do is gag on your fart while I'm gasping for air. 

2. Disney or Holiday music played. Seriously?? Um...I'm an adult (kinda) and I don't want to hear this music ever.... but especially not when I'm working out. Just makes me think I should be driving a mini-van full of children. There is nothing motivating about it!

3. The one guy in the class who is doing his own thing. Why are you in this class if your not doing the class? You stand right in front by the teacher...your all over the place....I'm clumsy and uncoordinated and you make it hard to concentrate because your funny!

4. Outfits.....my favorite one was the guy wearing regular workout clothes with cowboy boots and he had a body building trophy sitting by him while lifting weights....I thought I was on a hidden camera show. Another great one is the guy that wears boxer shorts.......um...those are underwear...you wear them under. 

5.  Whining-If you don't want to be here, then why did you come here? I'm sick of listening to you complain about the workout....if you took the time to get here, then do it and shut up......or stay home. Nobody wants to listen to you whine.