Happy Anniversary Babe!

As our 19th anniversary approaches I was going to say how wonderful, amazing and blah, blah, blah that you are honey. Then I decided that's boring. So instead here is my list of the top 10 annoying things you do. 
1. You think all your opinions are facts. This is false. 
2. Your gagging and vomiting noises during my shows. I watch good quality television. 
3. The way you move the pillows dramatically off the bed every night. You act like your moving slabs of cement. When the bed is made those 13 pillows look beautiful.
4. Reaching over, pushing all the keys and messing up my texting. I'm conducting important business.
5. Eating whatever you want like a complete pig on the weekends while making me feel like if I do, then I too...will be skinny like you.
6. Waking me up in the night while your looking for tums singing the TTTTTTUMS song because you ate chips and salsa before bed.....again.
7. Kicking everyone's butt when it comes to any physical activity even when you haven't trained. It's ridick!
8. Starting a house project but never finishing it because well, there is skiing, biking, skipping and singing to the dog that needs to be done first.
9. Controlling my window in the car because you think I should be hot and I'm cold. I'm a mature adult and can be in charge of my own window.
10. Asking me if my period is coming ....when it is not.

Wha?? When did this happen??

Nobody told me when my boy turned 12 I was suppose to pull myself together. I'm suppose to do my hair...everyday. I'm not allowed to wear certain clothes or flip flops with socks (in the car). I can't talk to his friends too much. Apparently its embarrassing if I pick him up with a horse head mask on......Game on little man....game on 😜🐴 🙀💃
He obviously has know idea of what I am capable of!

You turn 12 and NOW I'm embarrassing?!? Where have you been your whole life?!?

This is just the last week....

It's not always easy but its the right thing to do...... 

This chick is a hot mess, she comes to the gym with her shirt on backwards, toothpaste running down her chest, sometimes smeared make up on, dirty hair with a big smile on her face.....if you make her do something she doesn't want to do...she will do it but will silently swear as she does it. She has been known to punch her own face while doing combat....that's how tough she is! She is sassy, a little smart alec but an absolute joy!! smile emoticon
She may pee her pants if we jump too much! Most the time she has no idea what she is doing and you may see her doing push ups when we're suppose to be doing squats. It's hard for her to get up sometimes and go but she knows its the right thing to do...she will receive reprimanding texts from gym loved ones if she misses which warms her heart. 

These 5 reasons are stupid. Here are 5 real reason why someone wouldn't want to bike with their significant other.
1. You kick my butt with ease while showing off and doing wheelies...while I'm slowly dying.....you think going lightning speed is natural.
2. You wait....and wait for me to catch up....then ask me 10 times if I'm okay....uh..yes, I'm good. Except that I just feel like punching you in the face.
3. Once I'm caught up....you then proceed to tell me how slow I am and that the mountain is gonna close because we are taking so long! Anyone and Everyone in the world that bikes is now done and has been for hours.
4. I then call you a rotten name!
5. Once we finish you ask if I want to go do it again real quick?!?

5 Reasons Why Your Significant Other Doesn’t Want to Mountain Bike with You.

5 Reasons Why Your Significant Other Doesn’t Want to Mountain Bike with You. Singletracks Mountain Bike News.

SINGLETRACKS.COM

Band Geeks 

I remember in jr. high feeling bad for the nerdy music kids that had to carry around their big instruments....now I feel bad for their Moms that had to have them sitting in their living rooms. 

Too Fat 

Do you ever feel to fat to go to the gym? I know It sounds ridiculous but makes perfect sense to me. 

My Top 5 Annoying Observances At The Gym 

1. Farting-this should never be done in a hot room full of sweaty people breathing hard. Ugh.....last thing I want to do is gag on your fart while I'm gasping for air. 

2. Disney or Holiday music played. Seriously?? Um...I'm an adult (kinda) and I don't want to hear this music ever.... but especially not when I'm working out. Just makes me think I should be driving a mini-van full of children. There is nothing motivating about it!

3. The one guy in the class who is doing his own thing. Why are you in this class if your not doing the class? You stand right in front by the teacher...your all over the place....I'm clumsy and uncoordinated and you make it hard to concentrate because your funny!

4. Outfits.....my favorite one was the guy wearing regular workout clothes with cowboy boots and he had a body building trophy sitting by him while lifting weights....I thought I was on a hidden camera show. Another great one is the guy that wears boxer shorts.......um...those are underwear...you wear them under. 

5.  Whining-If you don't want to be here, then why did you come here? I'm sick of listening to you complain about the workout....if you took the time to get here, then do it and shut up......or stay home. Nobody wants to listen to you whine.  

Ma'am??

So there are two banks located next to each other, one I bank with and one I don't bank with. So which one would I go to? Obviously the one I DON'T bank with, excuse me Ma'am do you realize you are not at your bank? Ooops, I am more bothered that I was called Ma'am than being an idiot.

When you gotta go....you gotta go! 

We ski a lot.....I mean we ski A LOT. Sometimes I don't want to ski the whole day and today was one of them. I dropped everyone off and planned on meeting them after lunch. I drove to the very end of the crowded resort to finally find a place to park. I enjoyed relaxing and reading and happened to drink all of my husbands coffee he left in the car in his 16 oz. travel mug. Within minutes.......I had to pee....sigh...bad.....pretty, pretty bad. There was no way I was gonna make it all the way to the lodge without peeing my pants. Sooooo....I climbed into the back of the car and filled his mug right back up. Of course I dumped it..........and went right back to reading. When he came back to the car for lunch and wondered where his coffee went.....I let him know that I drank it and then I explained my dilemma I endured while he was gone......I thought it was kinda funny....he did not. He also threw his favorite mug away....so dramatic. 

Just Eat It!!

We don't eat out a lot and we definitely don't eat at McDonald's. While on a road trip we stopped by McDonald's to grab a quick breakfast. We handed the kids their food and they looked at it in disgust. We've trained them so well that they moaned and groaned about the disgusting food. My husband and I yelled "just eat it!!" as we yelled we looked at each other and started laughing. What kind of parents have to yell at their kids to eat McDonald's. Kids love that crap....except mine. 

All By Myself............

I was all ready to run my 8 miles this morning, go to hit play on the Ipod and all I hear is silence. What?!? Um....Hello?!? Its dead........could it have anything to do with the little ride it took in the washing machine....probably. So I think, I can do this....right? Psh...I've never ran without music...one time won't kill me. So I reluctantly begin running. About 20 feet in..... my mind begins racing......it's thinking about all kinds of crap......and I don't like it one bit....After a mile in I decide not to take my original turn because there is no way in hell I am running this 8 miles without music.....It just can't be done. So I aim for 4 miles instead. I did it....it was slow and torturous.....and I discovered that I annoy myself......I don't want to hear myself breath and pant........I don't like thinking that much.........and that was way too much time to spend with myself. Today, I am very thankful for music in the world. 

Stupid Exercise 

I exercise often, some think too much but I think its a normal amount. The other day I wasn't in the mood to exercise at all. I went for a 2 mile walk with the family and that was plenty for me.  I had that small nagging feeling that I should ride my bike to pick up the car that my husband abandoned that morning on his bike ride. I didn't want to but that stupid small voice kept saying "just do it!" Ugh! fine. I angrily got my bike and noticed the seat was too high and needed to be adjusted so I started looking for a thingy. After 20 minutes of looking I was unsuccessful and angrily put my bike away, grabbed my keys and started walking. After a 1 1/2 miles I thought this is stupid, I don't want to walk I should call the hubs to come get me but realized I didn't even bring my phone. Sigh,... I guess I could run now then I won't have to tomorrow, except that only lasted for 1 minute before I realized I didn't have a running bra on and the ladies were everywhere. So I continued to walk and laugh at myself for such stupidity and ended up walking 7 miles to the car. It was exhausting since I wasn't in the mood. Once I got home hubs was worried and wondered what took so long. Apparently I should have asked him for help and he would had directed me to Allen Wrench, whoever he is. 

It was a dark night....late too...close to 8:00 p.m. and I couldn't take the windshield wiper fluid light blinking at me anymore. I decided to take matters into my own hands..and a funnel. I was proud until I noticed the light wasn't going off. How can this be? It must be broken or could it be that I put it in the brake fluid filler upper thingy?

I'm At My Wits End! 

I said it.....I said those dreadful Mom words today. When I heard them come out of my mouth I was appalled. Seriously? I thought with a smile.....I can't believe that I just said that.....I'm not positive but I think I was even shaking my head and had my hands on my hip. I remember when my Mom would say that and I'd think..what? what are you talking about? I don't know what that means but I think your a lunatic.....Time for a break.

Whoever came up with this?!?!

I finally decided to try this Netipot thingy to help my explosive face, I mean sinuses and I gotta say its not that bad....if you don't mind drowning in your own face.

Cool Cat

I keep telling myself that I am still cool and hip even tho I want my levi's to cover my bum when I bend over (whys it so hard to find them?) even if I get annoyed by the snowboarders mouths around my boys while skiing (inside I'm laughing) , even if I can only jump on the trampoline for a minute or I'll pee my pants, even if I run with compression socks on, fall asleep sitting up and enjoy a nice glass of metamucil once in a while. I am fun, cool and totally with it although I just noticed I used the word hip..............

Normal things I do that my husband rolls his eyes or shakes his head at daily. I take coffee with me in a glass mug in the car in the morning (yes, we have travel mugs but I prefer it this way), I use Pam cooking spray, I pay money to run and bike races that I will never win, I have a lot of running shoes and need more, I pick up the kitchen rugs to sweep but won't really sweep for a few days, I don't want to change my bike tire when I have him to do it, I think all dishes can go in the dishwasher and they will fit and why would I wash them by hand when I have a dishwasher also I think I am super funny but he doesn't think I am as funny as I think I am.

Daily Stupidity

Here are few stupid things I have done today: wore two differ colors of the same shoe, washed my car with the passenger window down, used the word "damn" that my 4 yr old is now repeating, sent an email 50 times to the wrong person-no wonder she wasn't getting it, went shopping at Walmart-need I say more.

I can see.....I can see!! 

After 3 different times in the last month of red, blurry, teary, itchy bright red eye that felt like a knife was stuck in it, lots of crying, headaches, several hours spent in the dark, extreme grumpiness, $100 worth of new makeup, 3 different Drs., 2 days of missed work (when I only work 1 day a week), several pirate jokes thrown my way, wasted 3 pairs of contacts, washed sheets..pillows..etc several billion times while wondering wth?!?, $150 in co-pays, several days of ugly no-makeup wearing glasses girl, several hours wondering...am I just a dirty girl?, 1 large chocolate shake, antibiotics, steroids, eye drops and 1 husband ready to divorce my whiney butt... Today I can see color, faces and this beautiful world again. I guess I use my eyes more than I thought and I am thankful to have them and will never take them for granted.

Parents Bad? 

Are we really that bad of parents for sending our kids outside for an hour to play once a week while we ignore them and watch Breaking Bad? I mean there are way worse parents out there, I'm just sure of it.